My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout. They also have a multi-year running gag where they offer me a bottle of fine whiskey or bourbon at a campfire but it has in fact been replaced by Malort. Then, when I am choking and gagging someone else offers me some water to wash away the taste, which is in fact also Malort.
defen 14 days ago [-]
> Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout
What do they call this cocktail? I suggest "Malörtal Kombat".
twic 14 days ago [-]
The Grand Malort Seizure?
alana314 14 days ago [-]
That's so funny. Water doesn't even wash away the taste anyway
MisterTea 14 days ago [-]
> My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout.
Fuck me I almost gagged reading that. The rest is just a horror story. That would be the camping trip I return from alone and immediately call a criminal defense lawyer.
dyauspitr 13 days ago [-]
Lighten up and live a little. You have to be open to essentially harmless pranks like this or what kind of sterilized life are you living.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
There remain jurisdictions in the United States where it is legal to shoot someone for replacing water with Malort.
some_random 14 days ago [-]
I'm a complete weirdo apparently who really likes the flavor of malort, it's bitter and herbal and so if you like those flavors you'll enjoy it. I kinda resent the amount of marketing that the new owners have churned out hyping it up, although I do appreciate what they're doing.
If you think you might enjoy it, give it a shot I'd describe the flavor as sweetened church pew, then grapefruit bitterness. If you're not expecting it you'll almost certainly hate it, but it's really not that bad.
wenc 14 days ago [-]
As a former Chicagoan I also enjoy Malört.
To my unstudied palate, it is the bitter cousin to Jaegermeister. It’s a bit more complex and more of a mature drink compared to Jaegers.
dyauspitr 13 days ago [-]
Jaegermeister is licorice flavored so I can’t take a sip of it without gagging. Does Malort taste anything like licorice?
wenc 13 days ago [-]
I don’t think so. But both taste highly herbal.
lopatin 14 days ago [-]
I love the ads:
"Malort: Weeding out Chicago's weak since 1934"
"Malort: When you need to unfriend someone in person"
> wer "man" + mod "courage," from its early use as an aphrodisiac
14 days ago [-]
devin 14 days ago [-]
I find it just fine as well. I feel like a generation of marketing around Malort was "it's really gross!", but it's a distinct taste that I don't think a chunk of people would find so offensive if they weren't heavily primed before trying it.
jknoepfler 14 days ago [-]
I'd be curious how it fares internationally. To me it just tastes to me like an anise liqueur with a pronounced bitterness.
I wouldn't be in a hurry to take a big swig of it, but that strikes me a little bit like taking a big swig of soy sauce and concluding it tastes awful.
scoofy 14 days ago [-]
I have a theory that our flavor pallet is flexible, and if you continue to consume something your body things is nourishing, it'll eventually flip a switch in your brain where it becomes palatable.
I'm sure someone has done research on this, but I'm unaware of any.
xboxnolifes 14 days ago [-]
I'm pretty sure this is known, at least for bitter tastes. Coffee, alcohol, bitter vegetables, dark chocolate, etc., tend to be acquired tastes to at least some degree. Even if you don't dislike them on first try, you probably grew to enjoy them more as you continued trying them.
Glyptodon 14 days ago [-]
I tried it hoping it would be kind of vaguely like Absinthe mixed with w/ grapefruit extract and quinine, but it just tasted like burning gasoline or jet fuel to me.
droopyEyelids 14 days ago [-]
This is where it gets tricky.
Malort is bottom shelf example of a “Bäsk” liquor.
There are much finer versions of it, and if you’re in Chicago Binnies carries one by Letherbee “Bësk” and if you like that bitter grapefruit/wormwood flavor, it is mana from heaven
Ironically, here in Chicago Malört has become so trendy that you'll sometimes end up paying more for it than you will for Bësk at a bar.
peapicker 14 days ago [-]
I also really like it, I have a bottle in the pantry.
The first time I had it (in Chicago of course), I asked the bartender what it tasted like before trying it as my friends had been building up how bad it was. She said, “It tastes like the day my Father left us.”
I have friends who make custom shirts with the Malört logo and the text “Malört: because fuck you.”
wsatb 14 days ago [-]
Every batch is different, some are more bitter than others. I think the new owners were planning to change that, but I feel like it hurts the appeal. The surprise is part of the fun.
I do not mind the taste, most of the time. Some bottles are especially bad though.
wl 14 days ago [-]
The batches being consistently less bitter is one of the first things I noticed about new bottles after CH acquired the brand.
rikthevik 14 days ago [-]
I'm intrigued to try it. I wonder how much it overlaps with Gammel Dansk, which my cousin describes as "it's a like a cinnamon stick threw up"
tehalex 14 days ago [-]
Malort is bitter, but not high proof, so I personally find it much easier to drink than something with more alcohol (if just talking about a shot...)
bunderbunder 14 days ago [-]
I like mine neat with a couple dashes of bitters. It's a lovely sipping drink.
I hate that whenever I try to order that at a bar, the bartender thinks I'm just being an idiot to show off. I can't see how it's any more of an acquired taste than something like single malt or calvados. Which, coincidentally, also make for thoroughly disgusting shots.
I wouldn't down half a tin of breath mints in one go, either.
red-iron-pine 13 days ago [-]
> but it's really not that bad.
you're not selling me
some_random 13 days ago [-]
That's because I'm not a salesman ;)
If you like bitter aperitifs, campari, jager, etc then you owe it to yourself to try malort. If you don't, then you can live without it.
stcroixx 14 days ago [-]
I like it too. Reminds me of Akavit, which I love.
ambicapter 14 days ago [-]
As someone who loves akvavit, I find Malört absolutely disgusting.
ryanchants 14 days ago [-]
Yeah, they took a quaint little dive bar thing and are turning it into a lifestyle brand.
jrochkind1 14 days ago [-]
I like it fine, it doesn't taste especially unusual among other herbal bitter liquors, a category I like. It's not the best (or as expensive as the best! they can get pricey), but it's not the worst, it's a fine drink.
The NYT story above mostly stayed away from how it's become known as like "the worst drink ever" or something, something you drink as a kind of challenge rather than that it's enjoyable.
I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually encouraging this story. In the age of "challenges", a narrative that this is an incredibly hard to drink thing that's a challenge to drink is actually good marketting, that has been part of it's successful national awareness?
It's not especially challenging, it's just an herbal bitter, which is not for everyone, sure. But it's not gross, it's a fine drink -- and ironically saying this, that it's not actually exceptionally bad, hurts it's marketing! Better to be exceptionally noteworthy bad than simply typical.
supplied_demand 14 days ago [-]
==I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually encouraging this story. ==
It is an explicit part of their marketing. This [0] excellent advertisement in Chicago states:
The liquor store I go to here in Chicago has a small Malort ad on a pole that says "These pants aren't going to shit themselves."
kreeben 14 days ago [-]
In Sweden it goes
1. eat rotten herring (which you'll not enjoy, because it's rotten fish, yo)
2. clean your palette with a disgusting shot of home made malört spirits (or aquavit, equally disgusting)
3. goto 1 until your drunk
4. get laid
Very, very, very few people ever reaches step 4.
apelapan 14 days ago [-]
Most commonly it is pickled herring. I don't think rotten herring is a thing in any broader circles.
Homemade bäsk is usually much better than factory made Bäska Droppar, if you enjoy the taste of wormwood more than just being slapped in the face with artificial bitterness and sugar.
Of course, if you hate the taste of fish, pickled things and spirits in general, you are unlikely to enjoy any of it.
seasnake 14 days ago [-]
Surströmming is not pickled but rather fermented
apelapan 13 days ago [-]
Also not quite the same as rotten! And, I would hazard a guess that the consumption ratio of inlagd-sill to surströmming is at least 1000:1, maybe 100000:1.
internet_points 14 days ago [-]
Aquavit equally disgusting? I guess I should try malört :) Aquavit with beer chaser and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinnekj%C3%B8tt is a great Christmas dish (but I would die if I didn't keep it to Christmas)
_sys49152 14 days ago [-]
wish moxie brand sodas wouldve done a similar marketing strategy to gain a better foothold in the northeast market. they got bought out by coca cola and nerfed any bitterness to have it resemble more like a flat root beer.
not everything in life needs to be sweet.
sdiupIGPWEfh 14 days ago [-]
Gotta add some Angostura bitters nowadays to give your Moxie some moxie.
giraffe_lady 14 days ago [-]
What are some other liquors in its category? Because it's much higher proof and lower sugar content than the bitter liquors people drink more or less unmixed.
There are probably some similarly high proof amaros out there but they're pretty rare even within that category and an american would probably only encounter them mixed into a cocktail if even then. Fernet branca sure but that's much less bitter. Malort is actually very unusual compared to campari, or suze or something along those lines. Much more bitter, more alcoholic and less sweet than the norm for these drinks.
jrochkind1 14 days ago [-]
Yes, Americans don't historically usually drink amaros or bitters. Amaros seem to be gaining in popularity though, perhaps the malort resurgence is part of that trend.
Right, it's a herbal bitter, not citrus like campari. And not an especially sweet one.
I am not good at remembering brand names there are so many. One I enjoy that comes in tiny little bottles and does have a bit of a foothold in the USA is the digestif Underberg.
Sure, that whole category will be seen by some Americans who are not interested in bitter and digestifs as not particularly palatable. But still nothing special about Malort.
Wikipedia says "Malört is an American brand of bäsk liqueur, ", with bäsk being a Swedish wormwood-based thing. Googling for wormwood amaros finds a variety to try, if the wormwood bitters is what you're looking for. The good ones will taste a lot better (and be a lot more expensive) than Malort, because, right, Malort isn't especially great, it's true.
i had Malort for the first time only a few years ago. I was like, wait, this is it? OK, it's a not especially great example of the category, it's kind of mediocre, but I've drank plenty of the category and don't find it especially hard to drink.
But "a mediocre bitter digestif" is obviously not as good marketing as "the worst drink on the planet, drink it as a challenge and impress your friends".
kasey_junk 14 days ago [-]
I think Underberg is a good comp. The problem with Malort is not that its bitter or the flavor profile of it, its the _quality_ of the drink. Underberg is bitter but well made and it tells dramatically when drinking them side by side.
Amaro's generally speaking are _very_ popular in Chicago. When I first moved here and was more of an out at bars type of person it was _extremely_ common to drink Amaro, especially at the end of a work night. But you'd drink the amaro's you'd expect (Fernet especially). No one would choose Malort because it wasn't any cheaper than a good amaro and was just worse.
The story of Malort is the story of good marketing and pre-social media 'influencers' getting involved. The book mentioned in the article also covers the quirky story of the original Malort brand and its interesting if you like that sort of thing. But as a drink its just uninteresting.
jrochkind1 14 days ago [-]
Unicum might be another good comparable, that's actually good if you like that sort of thing?
You want something that I think really is so bad that I have trouble imagining it's not just a novelty challenge drink -- and yet I think it's not and some people really do like it -- while even sticking to Nordic region (they like some weird stuff)....
"Salty" licorice is a misnomer, there's nothing actually salty about it, the "salt" is ammonium chloride. It's vodka flavored with black licorice (I'm with you so far), and the taste of ammonia.
12 days ago [-]
jrochkind1 14 days ago [-]
Oh yeah I'm not saying Malort is good. i find it mediocre. I feel like I've had worse (which I can't remember the name of because why). I enjoy em enough that if i was at a bar that only had Malort I'd drink it. (I don't like the menthol in Fernet Branca, although many do. Malort has no menthol flavor as I recall?)
But the marketing campaign, whether crowdsourced viral or intended, is that it's like this uniquely horrible thing.
If anyone is familiar with the category and enjoys it (certainly not everyone does), they won't find it particularly hard to drink or unusual. They will find it not very good, yes. Obviously that's not something you want to market.
As you say, it's not interesting. But "the worst drink you'll ever have" would of course be very interesting! It's not that Malort is great, it's that in fact it's not interesting at all, it's just a mediocre bitter digestif.
reducesuffering 14 days ago [-]
I think the Nordic countries' Aquavit is more like Malort than the Italian Amaros are.
Fun fact: The Nordics are so cold, to age their Aquavit in casks, some producers would load them up on ships and send them to the equator and back. Linie Aquavit still does this tradition.
Personally, Italian Amaros are much better than Aquavit or Malort though. Forget Fernet when there's Averna.
anamexis 14 days ago [-]
I don't think Aquavit is very similar to Malort at all. They lack the bitterness and extreme astringency. Aquavit is more like gin but with a different botanical lineup.
twic 14 days ago [-]
I thought it was pretty similar to Suze in bitterness, although I didn't try them side by side. It's about twice as strong, though. And neither is sweet enough to save you!
yxhuvud 14 days ago [-]
Have you tried Gammel Dansk?
giraffe_lady 14 days ago [-]
I'm not sure. I was about to say yes but looking it up now probably what I had was arnbitter. I quit drinking over a decade ago too so I'm starting to get even more fuzzy on what I have and haven't tried.
red-iron-pine 13 days ago [-]
> I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually encouraging this story. In the age of "challenges", a narrative that this is an incredibly hard to drink thing that's a challenge to drink is actually good marketting, that has been part of it's successful national awareness?
The Streisand Effect works. Plus, in a crowded market, anything to set yourself apart is a win.
spelunker 14 days ago [-]
Their social media accounts at least absolutely lean into the "worst drink ever" reputation.
calvinmorrison 14 days ago [-]
If you like Fernet?
selectodude 14 days ago [-]
Fernet is 100x better in every way.
MisterTea 14 days ago [-]
That is not saying much coming from a guy who thinks Fernet tastes the way a mens room smells on a hot day when chilled.
selectodude 14 days ago [-]
You can’t be referring to me. I’ll do shots of Fernet all night long.
calvinmorrison 14 days ago [-]
Fernet is delicious
astrange 14 days ago [-]
Fernet tastes like mint toothpaste.
14 days ago [-]
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
Then you will be disappointed by Malort, which is one-dimensionally vile and without any charm. The sad thing is Chicago is a big amaro town; Malort is to a serious amaro what a bottle of 70% isopropyl is to Glenrothes 18.
theadultnerd 14 days ago [-]
I always describe Malort as "it's like Fernet made Fernet in a shed"
defen 14 days ago [-]
Yeah, everyone knows that the real worst liquor ever is Ng Ka Py. Either they made it differently back then or John Steinbeck never actually drank it.
TheAdamist 14 days ago [-]
I happen to enjoy malort, so there's probably something wrong with me.
Malort has been seeing wider distribution recently, which i hear may due to a buyout a while ago. Their website lists distribution in Delaware, Maryland, DC, and randomly checking San Francisco shows availability as well.
No more having to visit Chicago to purchase it enables a lot more people to buy it and businesses to serve it.
The weird Chicago only malort variants do disturb me, but i would try them.
kiernanmcgowan 14 days ago [-]
The burnt rubber flavor does grow on you. Kinda like how black coffee is a bit of an acquired taste.
MisterTea 14 days ago [-]
From what I am reading Malort sounds like a bad combo between a disgusting smokey scotch* and Fernet, a liquor that tastes the way a public mens bathroom smells like on a hot day when chilled.
And you compare that to black coffee? Shame on you.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
They're not even in the same universe. I don't love Fernet, but I appreciate it, and can taste things in it; it tastes like lots of different herbs and spices, some of them unpalatable. On the other hand, to make homemade Malort, simply mix Windex, Everclear, and sugar.
TheAdamist 12 days ago [-]
Malort tastes like extremely bitter grapefruit peel to me.
I also love my scotch as peaty as possibly. So most likely my taste buds are broken.
Fernet is dark and very herbally from my recollection.
jerlam 14 days ago [-]
Malort has been available at Total Wine and More for over a year. That's when I bought some and forced my friends into all trying it, and they all agreed it was terrible.
mNovak 14 days ago [-]
The variants are what worry me; it seems to defeat the purpose of a drink that built a reputation on being "unenjoyable" to make it more palatable while using the brand name for cachet.
All that to say, I tried barrel aged Malort -- it mellows down the flavor, so sure it's "better," but again what's the point? There are plenty of better tasting shots out there.
0points 14 days ago [-]
Malört is the name of the herb wormwood in Swedish.
The swedish name means "clothing moth herb", and has been used to fight cloth moths among other uses. Also especially popular spirit flavoring, which it's latin name hints of.
Artemisia absinthium
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
I'd imagine there's as much actual wormwood in Malort as there is fruit in a Froot Loops.
dracyr 14 days ago [-]
Not sure about the ones mentioned in the article, but for the kind I'm used to (i.e Bäsk) in Sweden it's a given.
In our family it's generally been a tradition to go out in the night of August 24th each year to pick some wormwood, and then infuse some plain alcohol with it to have for the coming months. We generally don't leave it in as long recipes call for though, 24h instead of multiple days so the taste is a bit milder.
strictnein 14 days ago [-]
Anything special about August 24th that makes it the day to do this?
dracyr 14 days ago [-]
Its the day when all farmers should be done harvesting and autumn officially begins according to "Bondepraktikan" [1], which says to be done by St Bartholomews day.
Like many old traditions the reasons have for many become lost to time, and now it's an accepted fact that that's the magical night to get some wormwood.
Wait. Fruit loops are made of corn. Corn is a fruit! :)
nate 14 days ago [-]
Jesus. I'm also today years old when I learned they're spelled Froot loops, not Fruit loops.
jknoepfler 14 days ago [-]
Yes, corn is a Froot, not a fruit. It's a common dietary misconception.
twic 14 days ago [-]
It's actually even worse - they're Froot Luips.
dllthomas 13 days ago [-]
It's never Luips.
pvg 14 days ago [-]
The only thing I know about Malört is that tptacek enjoys complaining about Malört, so I'm looking forward to learning even more about that one thing.
JohnFen 14 days ago [-]
I think that it's unpleasant, but found that its reputation is greatly exaggerated. There are much worse liquors available if that's your jam.
arethuza 14 days ago [-]
By far the worst tasting thing I've had was Norwegian moonshine.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
Don't drink Windex.
dugmartin 14 days ago [-]
As a former Chicagoan I'd have to agree. I always thought Malort was just a running gag to play on visitors.
Kon-Peki 14 days ago [-]
Without the purchase-to-fulfill-a-gag market, it probably would have shut down decades ago.
The new owners are a serious distillery, and doing the best job possible with the recipe. This will lead to people drinking it for reasons other than a gag, but will that grow to be enough to leave the joke behind?
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
It pisses me off, because there's no reason for it to exist. There are good products with the same flavor profile Malort attempts (and fails), but Malort swamps them in the market. There's even non-Jeppson Malort now. It's all a stunt.
mtremsal 14 days ago [-]
My first thought exactly! I have never heard of Malört outside of the cryptography/security industry, where offering it is seemingly used as a hazing ritual.
evbogue 14 days ago [-]
Just chase it with an Old Style or twelve and whatever Malört tastes like to you will soon be only a nostalgic memory from your one trip late at night to Logan.
mpalfrey 14 days ago [-]
I went on a stag do (bachelor party for non-Brits) last year. The groom had just returned from Chicago on a business trip the morning we went away. He brought back a bottle of Malört.
I developed a taste for it that weekend - it's not that bad (I'd take it over something like Becharovka). Annoyingly years ago (2009ish) I spent a fair amount of time over in the Midwest with work and never drank the stuff.
DrBazza 14 days ago [-]
Must be a British thing as I’m the same. Been to Chicago a few times and had a few shots of Malort and it’s totally fine. Maybe it’s the coriander-tastes-like-soap thing for some people.
baggy_trough 14 days ago [-]
Becherovka? I love that stuff. I'm afraid to try Malört though.
sloped 14 days ago [-]
I’ve noticed an increase in small distilleries creating their own versions of Malört over the past five or so years. It reminds me of the renaissance Fernet experienced 7 or 8 years ago. Malört is definitely an acquired taste—taking a shot of it feels like punishment—but if you enjoy bitter liquors, sipping some chilled Malört after a heavy meal might not be unpleasant.
I’d guess that bitterness is the flavor most people are least interested in exploring, and that makes sense. It doesn’t seem to have the same endorphin payoff as other tastes. It’s an interesting flavor, and I think you need to have an interest in digging into unusual flavors before diving into the world of bitter-forward spirits. I think it makes sense that the rise of better cocktails has led to spirits like Malört seeing growth.
mNovak 14 days ago [-]
Besk has existed for a long time in Chicago, which I've heard referred to as "good Malort." It has a brighter, anise-forward flavor which puts it more in line with Italian amari.
jerlam 14 days ago [-]
Most of the alternative, new Fernets I've tried want to be "Branca, but more approachable", which takes away a lot of what makes Branca so interesting. I don't know if "Malort, but less bitter" is as marketable.
J_Shelby_J 14 days ago [-]
Fernet is so good. Probably a good entry point to bitters. It is so nice with Diet Coke.
mooreds 14 days ago [-]
If I like Amaro, but haven't been a fan of Fernet, is Malort worth a shot?
er4hn 14 days ago [-]
Amaro is fairly sweet. Malort is closer to Jagermesiter, but with a much more bitter flavor. I'd look into Becherovka if you want something a little more "zesty"
theadultnerd 14 days ago [-]
Love Malort, we serve it at my bar and it's absolutely something that grows on people.
cthalupa 14 days ago [-]
It's basically a bottom shelf amaro. If you like amaros, you can probably find malort palatable.
But bitterness is a very divisive flavor so lots of people just have extreme reactions to amaros in general and malort in particular.
wlll 14 days ago [-]
I (a brit) have drunk Malört on a few occasions. It's foul, I only drank it because it was part of fun nights out with a group of work friends. My ex boss' review "the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth".
BurningFrog 14 days ago [-]
I'm Swedish, and this tastes exactly as I remember the Swedish "Bäska Droppar" ("Bitter drops"). I haven't had the opportunity to compare them side by side, and don't particularly wish to.
I used to think of it as the booze for a final stage alcoholic to get a reaction from a drink.
As a Chicagoan, I enjoy Malort regularly, and I like to chase it with light beer. It makes the beer taste amazingly sweet.
kasey_junk 14 days ago [-]
Try the exact same thing with Fernet instead. Or Averna, or really any bitter Amaro. They will provide better flavors but the same change to light beer.
the bar Little Brother in Austin has a fun deal. for $5, you roll a d20 and if you get a 20 you get a shot of whistle pig. anything 1-5 and you get a shot of malort.
otterley 14 days ago [-]
What do you get if you roll 6-19?
csmoak 14 days ago [-]
sliding scale of other liquors of varying subjective quality
whalesalad 14 days ago [-]
We had a bottle or two in our FarmLogs (yc12) office. Would bring it out once in a while to celebrate something, and would always snag a noobie or intern to fall for the trap.
terminalbraid 14 days ago [-]
Neat. What was the trap?
chasil 14 days ago [-]
It tastes like roadkill soaked in turpentine.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
It's not just that it tastes bad. Elisir Novasalus tastes bad. Lots of things taste bad. Malort tastes like something you are not supposed to be drinking; like solvents, like something leaking out of the engine of a car. Not in a good way. It tastes like a bad product.
BobaFloutist 14 days ago [-]
I mean if you're not a heavy drinker, most liquor tastes like a solvent.
dh2022 14 days ago [-]
I am not a heavy drinker, and I absolutely enjoy all sorts of liquors: cognacs, whiskeys, vodkas, gins, etc... None of these taste like solvent.
whalesalad 13 days ago [-]
malort definitely does lol
tastes like something you would pour into a chainsaw with that perfect 50:1 ratio of gas to oil.
BobaFloutist 13 days ago [-]
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
IncreasePosts 14 days ago [-]
It tastes awful
tymski 14 days ago [-]
I never understood why everyone hates this. I used to order a round of shots for everyone at the bar and they all hated it.
Even just reading the word Malört gives me Malört face.
kaffekaka 14 days ago [-]
The usage of the name is cultural appropriation.
Kon-Peki 14 days ago [-]
It was created by a Swedish emigrant. There's a lot of Swedish history and people in Chicago, so much so that Sweden maintains an honorary consulate general that has no official diplomatic duties but is there to maintain relations and participate in the many Swedish festivals that happen throughout the area.
edit: IDK how ethically right it is (in my opinion it is) but when posting paywalled content we should post the archive link directly or at least as part of the submission
That's good to know and terrible news. It looks like a different paywall than the one I see going directly to the NYT link, it let me view the article the first time and now simply entered an unresolving state.
Anyway shame on you NYT, this is like boycotting the web archive, ridiculous...
adolph 14 days ago [-]
Ok, Malört is the name of an alcoholic beverage. It is unclear to me why a liquid would be called a "princess" but maybe it reflects the jargon of aficionados.
Malört was introduced in Chicago in the 1930s and was long produced by the Carl Jeppson Company. In 2018, as its last employee was retiring, the brand and company name were sold to CH Distillery of Chicago's Pilsen neighborhood. Jeppson's Malört is named after Carl Jeppson, a Swedish immigrant who first distilled and popularized the liquor in Chicago. Malört (literally moth herb) is the Swedish word for wormwood, which is the key ingredient in bäsk. Malört is extremely low in thujone, a chemical once prevalent in absinthe and similar drinks.
It's a reference to the Chappell Roan album "The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess" which has been a smash hit this summer.
adolph 14 days ago [-]
Oh how fascinating. What is the connection between the beverage and album? Or is it just a spurious reference by the headline to drive engagement?
RandallBrown 14 days ago [-]
> What is the connection between the beverage and album?
Malort is from Chicago, which is in the midwest, and it's blown up in popularity lately. I don't think there's anything else to it.
slackfan 14 days ago [-]
Eh, I like Malort, and I'm not even from Chicago.
iwontberude 14 days ago [-]
It’s disgusting. It’s liquid ear wax shared by people who like to piss other people off. I say this as a person who typically enjoys bitter.
arethuza 14 days ago [-]
Google's AI says that it "has a full-bodied flavor and tastes like pencil shavings, old battery rust, citrus zest, and ear wax".
csa 14 days ago [-]
…”and despair”.
duped 14 days ago [-]
> It is also, in five words, the unofficial liquor of Chicago
No, it's a meme that hipsters have somehow latched onto because the Chicago aesthetic seems to be popular now.
If a native Chicagoan tells you that you have to have a shot of Malort when you're at the bar because it's the "unofficial liquor of Chicago" - they're pulling a prank. It's somehow lasted a century as a prank you pull on your buddies who don't drink that often.
sequoia 14 days ago [-]
If it's lasted a century as a prank Chicagoans play on people, it sounds like it is in fact a cultural touchstone.
14 days ago [-]
supplied_demand 14 days ago [-]
I've seen it used more often as an initiation if someone has recently moved to Chicago. You welcome them to the city with a "Chicago Handshake" which is Old Style beer and a shot of Malort.
samgranieri 14 days ago [-]
I live in the Chicago suburbs now and used to live in Chicago. Taking shots of Malört in bars is indeed a rite of passage for tourists, but yeah, it's a foul-tasting shot.
Democratic Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker was recorded sharing shots of Malört with visiting politicians during the week of the Democratic National Convention. I enjoyed looking at the reaction of the visiting politicians after they drank it.
pessimizer 14 days ago [-]
Pritzker is a rich guy who grew up in California and Massachusetts, so in Chicago he's an absolutely typical Malort drinker. It's become a big part of pretending to be local.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
Yes, this, exactly.
selectodude 14 days ago [-]
The most annoying part of Malort discourse is that it’s changed since it was purchased by CH and isn’t nearly as strong.
tptacek 14 days ago [-]
It was never a good product. It's a bad product that people drink as a stunt or a prank.
selectodude 14 days ago [-]
Agreed. It’s just gross. However the part that gets me is it’s not even as gross as it used to be before it became “cool”.
jollyllama 14 days ago [-]
First a hipster meme and then a forced meme by the makers to capitalize on it.
14 days ago [-]
PhasmaFelis 14 days ago [-]
> Mr. Wurth, who tended bar in Chicago for 10 years before moving down South, takes Polaroids of Malört first-timers and asks them to write descriptions of the drink on the border. Hundreds of snapshots plaster the walls of the bar’s two bathrooms. A sampling of their tiny captions: “Swamp grass in July,” “Pain” and, Mr. Wurth’s favorite, “The powder inside of a balloon.” Malört turns even the most prosaic into unexpected poets.
I have not had Malort, but I have had absinthe, which I believe is similar? And I'd like to contribute.
I wouldn't say it tastes bad. If you drank boiling bleach, you wouldn't say it "tastes bad." That's not the right category of word. It tastes like something that should never, ever go in your mouth.
strictnein 14 days ago [-]
Absinthe has redeeming qualities, even if you don't enjoy the anise/black licorice flavor (which I do not). Malort does not. It really is a different beast.
What do they call this cocktail? I suggest "Malörtal Kombat".
Fuck me I almost gagged reading that. The rest is just a horror story. That would be the camping trip I return from alone and immediately call a criminal defense lawyer.
If you think you might enjoy it, give it a shot I'd describe the flavor as sweetened church pew, then grapefruit bitterness. If you're not expecting it you'll almost certainly hate it, but it's really not that bad.
To my unstudied palate, it is the bitter cousin to Jaegermeister. It’s a bit more complex and more of a mature drink compared to Jaegers.
"Malort: Weeding out Chicago's weak since 1934"
"Malort: When you need to unfriend someone in person"
> wer "man" + mod "courage," from its early use as an aphrodisiac
I wouldn't be in a hurry to take a big swig of it, but that strikes me a little bit like taking a big swig of soy sauce and concluding it tastes awful.
I'm sure someone has done research on this, but I'm unaware of any.
Malort is bottom shelf example of a “Bäsk” liquor.
https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Bäsk
There are much finer versions of it, and if you’re in Chicago Binnies carries one by Letherbee “Bësk” and if you like that bitter grapefruit/wormwood flavor, it is mana from heaven
https://www.letherbee.com/products
The first time I had it (in Chicago of course), I asked the bartender what it tasted like before trying it as my friends had been building up how bad it was. She said, “It tastes like the day my Father left us.”
I have friends who make custom shirts with the Malört logo and the text “Malört: because fuck you.”
I do not mind the taste, most of the time. Some bottles are especially bad though.
I hate that whenever I try to order that at a bar, the bartender thinks I'm just being an idiot to show off. I can't see how it's any more of an acquired taste than something like single malt or calvados. Which, coincidentally, also make for thoroughly disgusting shots.
I wouldn't down half a tin of breath mints in one go, either.
you're not selling me
If you like bitter aperitifs, campari, jager, etc then you owe it to yourself to try malort. If you don't, then you can live without it.
The NYT story above mostly stayed away from how it's become known as like "the worst drink ever" or something, something you drink as a kind of challenge rather than that it's enjoyable.
I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually encouraging this story. In the age of "challenges", a narrative that this is an incredibly hard to drink thing that's a challenge to drink is actually good marketting, that has been part of it's successful national awareness?
It's not especially challenging, it's just an herbal bitter, which is not for everyone, sure. But it's not gross, it's a fine drink -- and ironically saying this, that it's not actually exceptionally bad, hurts it's marketing! Better to be exceptionally noteworthy bad than simply typical.
It is an explicit part of their marketing. This [0] excellent advertisement in Chicago states:
"Do Not Enjoy. Responsibly."
[0] https://www.reddit.com/r/chicago/comments/19dvd2j/brilliant_...
1. eat rotten herring (which you'll not enjoy, because it's rotten fish, yo)
2. clean your palette with a disgusting shot of home made malört spirits (or aquavit, equally disgusting)
3. goto 1 until your drunk
4. get laid
Very, very, very few people ever reaches step 4.
Homemade bäsk is usually much better than factory made Bäska Droppar, if you enjoy the taste of wormwood more than just being slapped in the face with artificial bitterness and sugar.
Of course, if you hate the taste of fish, pickled things and spirits in general, you are unlikely to enjoy any of it.
not everything in life needs to be sweet.
There are probably some similarly high proof amaros out there but they're pretty rare even within that category and an american would probably only encounter them mixed into a cocktail if even then. Fernet branca sure but that's much less bitter. Malort is actually very unusual compared to campari, or suze or something along those lines. Much more bitter, more alcoholic and less sweet than the norm for these drinks.
Right, it's a herbal bitter, not citrus like campari. And not an especially sweet one.
I am not good at remembering brand names there are so many. One I enjoy that comes in tiny little bottles and does have a bit of a foothold in the USA is the digestif Underberg.
Sure, that whole category will be seen by some Americans who are not interested in bitter and digestifs as not particularly palatable. But still nothing special about Malort.
Wikipedia says "Malört is an American brand of bäsk liqueur, ", with bäsk being a Swedish wormwood-based thing. Googling for wormwood amaros finds a variety to try, if the wormwood bitters is what you're looking for. The good ones will taste a lot better (and be a lot more expensive) than Malort, because, right, Malort isn't especially great, it's true.
i had Malort for the first time only a few years ago. I was like, wait, this is it? OK, it's a not especially great example of the category, it's kind of mediocre, but I've drank plenty of the category and don't find it especially hard to drink.
But "a mediocre bitter digestif" is obviously not as good marketing as "the worst drink on the planet, drink it as a challenge and impress your friends".
Amaro's generally speaking are _very_ popular in Chicago. When I first moved here and was more of an out at bars type of person it was _extremely_ common to drink Amaro, especially at the end of a work night. But you'd drink the amaro's you'd expect (Fernet especially). No one would choose Malort because it wasn't any cheaper than a good amaro and was just worse.
The story of Malort is the story of good marketing and pre-social media 'influencers' getting involved. The book mentioned in the article also covers the quirky story of the original Malort brand and its interesting if you like that sort of thing. But as a drink its just uninteresting.
You want something that I think really is so bad that I have trouble imagining it's not just a novelty challenge drink -- and yet I think it's not and some people really do like it -- while even sticking to Nordic region (they like some weird stuff)....
https://koskenkorva.com/en/koskenkorva-salmiakki
"Salty" licorice is a misnomer, there's nothing actually salty about it, the "salt" is ammonium chloride. It's vodka flavored with black licorice (I'm with you so far), and the taste of ammonia.
But the marketing campaign, whether crowdsourced viral or intended, is that it's like this uniquely horrible thing.
If anyone is familiar with the category and enjoys it (certainly not everyone does), they won't find it particularly hard to drink or unusual. They will find it not very good, yes. Obviously that's not something you want to market.
As you say, it's not interesting. But "the worst drink you'll ever have" would of course be very interesting! It's not that Malort is great, it's that in fact it's not interesting at all, it's just a mediocre bitter digestif.
Fun fact: The Nordics are so cold, to age their Aquavit in casks, some producers would load them up on ships and send them to the equator and back. Linie Aquavit still does this tradition.
Personally, Italian Amaros are much better than Aquavit or Malort though. Forget Fernet when there's Averna.
The Streisand Effect works. Plus, in a crowded market, anything to set yourself apart is a win.
Malort has been seeing wider distribution recently, which i hear may due to a buyout a while ago. Their website lists distribution in Delaware, Maryland, DC, and randomly checking San Francisco shows availability as well.
No more having to visit Chicago to purchase it enables a lot more people to buy it and businesses to serve it.
The weird Chicago only malort variants do disturb me, but i would try them.
And you compare that to black coffee? Shame on you.
I also love my scotch as peaty as possibly. So most likely my taste buds are broken.
Fernet is dark and very herbally from my recollection.
All that to say, I tried barrel aged Malort -- it mellows down the flavor, so sure it's "better," but again what's the point? There are plenty of better tasting shots out there.
Artemisia absinthium
In our family it's generally been a tradition to go out in the night of August 24th each year to pick some wormwood, and then infuse some plain alcohol with it to have for the coming months. We generally don't leave it in as long recipes call for though, 24h instead of multiple days so the taste is a bit milder.
Like many old traditions the reasons have for many become lost to time, and now it's an accepted fact that that's the magical night to get some wormwood.
[1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Farmer%27s_Almanac
The new owners are a serious distillery, and doing the best job possible with the recipe. This will lead to people drinking it for reasons other than a gag, but will that grow to be enough to leave the joke behind?
I developed a taste for it that weekend - it's not that bad (I'd take it over something like Becharovka). Annoyingly years ago (2009ish) I spent a fair amount of time over in the Midwest with work and never drank the stuff.
I’d guess that bitterness is the flavor most people are least interested in exploring, and that makes sense. It doesn’t seem to have the same endorphin payoff as other tastes. It’s an interesting flavor, and I think you need to have an interest in digging into unusual flavors before diving into the world of bitter-forward spirits. I think it makes sense that the rise of better cocktails has led to spirits like Malört seeing growth.
But bitterness is a very divisive flavor so lots of people just have extreme reactions to amaros in general and malort in particular.
I used to think of it as the booze for a final stage alcoholic to get a reaction from a drink.
https://www.raschvin.com/en/product/baeska-droppar-prima-sna...
tastes like something you would pour into a chainsaw with that perfect 50:1 ratio of gas to oil.
edit: IDK how ethically right it is (in my opinion it is) but when posting paywalled content we should post the archive link directly or at least as part of the submission
Anyway shame on you NYT, this is like boycotting the web archive, ridiculous...
Malört was introduced in Chicago in the 1930s and was long produced by the Carl Jeppson Company. In 2018, as its last employee was retiring, the brand and company name were sold to CH Distillery of Chicago's Pilsen neighborhood. Jeppson's Malört is named after Carl Jeppson, a Swedish immigrant who first distilled and popularized the liquor in Chicago. Malört (literally moth herb) is the Swedish word for wormwood, which is the key ingredient in bäsk. Malört is extremely low in thujone, a chemical once prevalent in absinthe and similar drinks.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeppson's_Mal%C3%B6rt
Malort is from Chicago, which is in the midwest, and it's blown up in popularity lately. I don't think there's anything else to it.
No, it's a meme that hipsters have somehow latched onto because the Chicago aesthetic seems to be popular now.
If a native Chicagoan tells you that you have to have a shot of Malort when you're at the bar because it's the "unofficial liquor of Chicago" - they're pulling a prank. It's somehow lasted a century as a prank you pull on your buddies who don't drink that often.
Democratic Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker was recorded sharing shots of Malört with visiting politicians during the week of the Democratic National Convention. I enjoyed looking at the reaction of the visiting politicians after they drank it.
I have not had Malort, but I have had absinthe, which I believe is similar? And I'd like to contribute.
I wouldn't say it tastes bad. If you drank boiling bleach, you wouldn't say it "tastes bad." That's not the right category of word. It tastes like something that should never, ever go in your mouth.